Selfish Suzy

I cannot believe it's March. And I really can't believe we're still getting snow with temperatures in the single digits. Mother Nature better pull herself together by St. Patrick's Day, or else I'm about to go full Hulk status and nobody wants that. 

Anyway, Happy March!

I've been thinking long and hard about a topic for today's post because I woke up this morning itching to write one. Different ideas floated in and out of my brain, and finally, one decided to stick. I want to talk about selfishness. 

As human beings, I think selfishness comes as naturally as the skin and bones we're born with. After all, we know ourselves better and more intimately than anything or anyone else in the world. We look out for ourselves, for our future and our happiness. It's an instinctive trait. 

In navigating the world, we must interact with other human beings who have their best interests at the forefront of their heart. But in order to connect with them, we must sacrifice pieces of ourselves, ranging in a variety of sizes and depths. We share our struggles, our thoughts, our experiences and our stories with other human beings with the hope of sharing a bond. A bond that exists on a deeper level and is built with mutual understanding and emotion. 

That sharing, though exhilarating and necessary on so many levels, can often times be one-sided. And there's multiple reasons for that. Maybe someone has so many walls built up around their core, their heart, that they don't seek out connections. Maybe someone is uncomfortable sharing anything personal about themselves for fear of judgement, or worse, rejection. 

But maybe, just maybe, it's because the person they're trying to connect with is entirely focused on their own story instead of getting to know anyone else on a deeper level. 

And that's where problems arise. 

Some people are so focused on promoting themselves, they lose sight of what others have to offer. People who are so intent on sharing their story often times forget to listen to the stories of others. By answering questions about ourselves, sometimes we forget to ask questions about others. 

It's a fact that we like to talk about ourselves; It's just the way the world is these days. In a gluttonous sense, we want people to know about us. But we can't forget that connecting with others is a process that enriches our own lives in a variety of ways. Asking questions and digging into personal depths is as important as breathing. It awards us with discoveries, lessons and crevices of our soul we might not have been able to reach before. 

I have had the displeasure of being involved with particularly selfish individuals who only talk about themselves. For example, I would say, "What should I have for lunch?" and their response would be, "I'm not hungry, but I'm going to have a sandwich." Or "I'm not feeling well," and they say, "I've been coughing a lot lately. I must be sick too." Instead of a reply like, "Oh no, what's wrong?" or "What are you in the mood for?", they instantly make the conversation about them. 

I seem to be rambling, and for that, I apologize. 

In short: People are inherently selfish, but we don't have to be. 

Get to know someone better than you did before. Ask a question, spark a conversation, learn. It doesn't matter if it's an honest or deep question, or a stupid "Would you rather?" question - just ask it. 

And maybe, just shut up about yourself for a second. You'll be amazed what you hear.


- A